thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
