I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
there is glitter all over my balls
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