just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
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If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
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My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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