you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
