I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
