Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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