Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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