we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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