Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
