I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I need a beard to bite.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
