Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
