she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
