there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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