so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
