I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
