But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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