I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
