But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
