I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize