If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
