I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
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