why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
