Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i just had sex bonerless
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
