I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
