Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Randomize
