A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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