Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
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At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
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I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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