I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
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