thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
