I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Can you bring me the toilet please
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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