I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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