look no pants
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
