Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
how drunk are you?
Several
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
