that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
