time to smoke my breakfast
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
