and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
