Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
