She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
