just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize