just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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