dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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