I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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