And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
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