I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
