is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
