I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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