dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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