Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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