I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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