his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
