Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize