She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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