Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
