I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
