we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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