i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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