I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
