im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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