At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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