FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
