how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
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