I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How external is "for external use only"?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize