im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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