oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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